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Eye Contact.

The meeting of two people’s eyes. When two people share a brief individual moment without talking.  However you define it WHY is it so difficult? Or more precisely, why is it so difficult for ME??


Let me be clear: I have absolutely no problem making eye contact when I’m actually talking with someone. I can stare people in the eyes during important interviews and throughout casual conversations. I can look the waiter in the eye when I order food and I can also speak a silent language with my eyes to my friends because they know exactly what I’m thinking.

What I’m actually referring to is those moments out on the streets when your walking along or your in a crowded cafe/club/party and you see someone you find attractive. And then they see you. What happens next? Well I’ll tell you what happens next in my case…I look away immediately and wait until I know they are not looking at me to look back at them. I am literally terrified of that 3 second span of time when eyes lock and you become painfully aware that you are looking at someone else and they are looking back at you.


Most of the time this happens to me is when I’m walking on the street or something random like walking into the supermarket or I don’t know.  Sometimes I will spot some guy in the distance that I think is cute (at least from that far away they appear to be) and I will literally get so anxious as they approach. I go through about 4 different scenarios of what I should do but none of them is look them in the eye and smile.

I could:

A) Make no eye contact at all and pretend they don’t even exist as to appear so wrapped up in my own world I never even noticed their hot ass body in their flannel shirt.
B) Look directly above them so it appears that I’m looking at them with not actually having to. This also consistently makes them think you are looking at them and in turn they look at you. Try it. I dare you. It works.
C) Turn down a different street altogether and avoid any and all awkward eye contact.
D) Turn around and pretend you forgot something where you just came from. This is a worst case scenario way to handle things. Because now not only are you going in the wrong direction but you are also still on the same path as said person.

But what I’m really trying to figure out is why this is so hard for me…
Some of my friends are so good with eye contact they even refer to it as “eye sex.” They can entice someone with just a mere glance.  That’s not my personal goal buttttt what I want is to not be afraid to look back. For goodness sakes I’m in my early twenties and I think I should be able to stare at someone who is staring at me. It only seems fair.  Like in the movies when handsome guy spots pretty girl and they share a moment if only a brief one and then their love story starts…well I want to be the girl plus or minus the love story depending on who I’m looking at.


Does anyone suffer from what I’m talking about? Or you all expert “eye contacters” who find no problem whatsoever with looking at other strangers?  And then I wonder why is it easy for me to make eye contact when a conversation with a stranger is already in progress but it’s so hard for me to look at someone I may or may not ever see again?

Right now I’m on the train back from Genova, Italy and I’m in the same compartment with a younger looking business man. I just bravely looked at him and he looked up at me and I realized he has one eye that is cross-eyed!!! Does this count though??? I obviously am trying here people! Okay but really I sincerely want to be more confident in the eye contact department. It seems so simple.

Suggestions welcome.


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